Over time I became restless in this thing called "church." I generally like the time of worship as I found a way to escape into a place where the Lord and I had a wonderful time together. I did not care much for sitting there and looking at the backs of people’s heads. I would much rather like to be talking to them and to be encouraged by what Jesus was doing in their lives.

Then, there was what my wife Onya and I lovingly refer to as "pew gymnastics." This is where we are continually asked to stand up, sit down, stand up, raise our hands or shake the hands of three people around us and say, "Jesus loves you." I guess that this was supposed to make us feel that we were actively functioning in the meeting rather than being just entertained observers. Or, maybe the leadership instinctively knew that boredom would set in if they did not keep the crowd moving. I, personally, fought to keep my eyes open most the time unless the prepared message was especially anointed. Over time I came to wonder if there was a spiritual problem with myself. Was I unspiritual and carnal???  Everyone else seemed to be having a wonderful time.

Home Gatherings
Some of the churches that I visited allowed home group meetings during the week. They went by various names and functioned under various formats. For the most part, they seemed casual and informal. It was easy to get to know people here and my fondest memories are of the intimate home group settings. At times I thought that I would recognize a person from the Sunday service, but would have to look at the back of their head to make sure….just kidding!

There were times when I would arrive at a new home group meeting to find the chairs arranged in neat little rows right in the middle of the living room. They would even have a makeshift pulpit for the leader to pontificate from. I avoided these "toy churches" as they tended to be man-centered and predictable…all the way to passing the plate at the end.

At one point in time I (regrettably) was part of starting a new "church" (I use this term loosely) work that had devolved form a pretty good home group meeting. As you might guess by now, I do not recognize leaving a quality home group setting and renting a "box" to meet in, an improvement. But, this is what the group wanted to do and my wife and I joined in to be of help. Onya kept the financial books and we both together manned the coffee and pastry "ministry."

Different Perspective
One morning we were visited by an older gentleman that the other leaders seemed to know. At least by their murmuring at the back of the room made it seem so. He came to the coffee table to partake of what was being offered. Onya then cheerfully asked him his name. "I am David," he said. She further pressed in, "well, how are you doing this morning?" "Only by His grace," he retorted.

"Where are you from David?" Onya again asked. "I am from the seed of Abraham," was his deep and sober reply. David struck the both of us a very somber and religious type of man, not given to pithy small talk.

When the show,…..uh,……er… I mean service was about to begin, we sat down and David just happens to sit right in front of me. I can still hear people murmuring about him in the back of the room. This bothered me because we touted ourselves as a church where all the world could come and would be loved and accepted. I then heard the Lord speak to my heart, "Just love him." Wow….okay, so after the service I invited him to join us afterwards at a local park for a potluck lunch that we were hosting.

At the potluck in the park I ran into David and tried to spark up a conversation. "So, what did you think of our church this morning, David?" He looked VERY seriously, deep into my eyes, cocked his head about fifteen degrees to one side and said, "That thing this morning was by no stretch of the imagination a church!" He continues, "That thing this morning and probably every Sunday morning of your Christian life was nothing more than a man-centered Roman charade which was sub-Christian and of little substance!" WOW!!! I could just feel the self-defense hairs bristling on the back of my neck!

But he did not let up. "Look at that gentleman in my car." He pointed to his beat up looking economy car with homemade lumber rack wired to the top. Inside I saw seated a scruffy individual that most would judge to be a street person. "I picked him up by the freeway on the way here," David says. "He claims Christ as his Savior and has no place to rest his head tonight!" "He is your brother in Christ!—will you invite him into your home to feed and to minister to his needs?"

I was totally caught off guard. This sort of thing never happened to me before. Sure, a couple of times over the years an occasional raggedy person would stumble into a service meeting. But they would always be ushered out of view by some of the attendants guarding the flock. The Lord said that "what you do to the least of mine, you do to me."  Hmmmmmmm, very sobering thought.

Anyway,  I think that I got off by stammering something about not wanting to endanger my household by inviting in an unknown stranger and besides--it was the churches’ job to handle such affairs.

David again pierces deeply into my eyes, "Bob, you are a member of the real church IN Christ, a living stone. But, you are now dysfunctional and in a deep stupor! If you were a part of a real church body, you would be equipped and able to love and care for all that the Lord would bring to your door." He then handed me a tattered copy of a booklet entitled, Homeward Horses And Point Geese, written by Gary Linden. David then turned and drove off with the freeway guy leaving me pondering what had just transpired. The booklet turned out to be my first exposure to the concept of life in a Christian community. A seed planted by Yeshua?

New Pathways
Although I had initially rejected David’s assertions, I knew that the Lord had used him as a sort of catalyst for a new work in my heart. Over the next few months David would pop in and out of my life, always probing and provoking me to consider outside perspectives on today’s church practices. Although David’s personal life and walk with Jesus seemed rife with discrepancies and error, once that I could separate the man from the message, I could begin to see what it was the he was trying to share with me. I also wanted to remain faithful to the Lord’s unction for me to just love this brother.

As it turns out, David had not made himself very popular with the mainstream Christian community. Hmmm, wonder why?

To date I have read many of the writings of The Watchman Nee, Gene Edwards, Frank Viola and many more. It was clear that the Lord would have me wade into deeper waters with Him. The everyday status quo life as an American Christian would never be the same for me. We, each of us in the family of God, must be faithful to the amount of light (truth) that has been placed before us.

I now judge only my own walk, and even then very carefully. The Lord has each of us on His pathway towards becoming more like Himself and preparing us for life in His Father’s Kingdom.